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| Did you say, "Grocery Store?"
Now, I know that I have been out of the American Job Game for about 18 months now, with no updates on my Monster.com resume. But still... I would hope that my options would be a little better than this disappointing e-mail that I received in my work e-mail the other day.
I mean... is this really the most they're expecting from my job requirement?
No gracias.
--Andymore
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| Here's to a Great Teacher
In memory of Linda Fannon who passed this September 20, 2009
I believe that good teachers are ones that never stop encouraging you. And great teachers are ones whose entire being emanates life and energy to those in their presence. My high school teacher, Mrs. Fannon, did just that.
At times here, now and again, the question of whether what I'm doing with my time in Korea is useful or is it a "hindrance" on life, as so many "mature" individuals back home might call it. But I realize that neither I not they could ever truly know what is supposed to happen, for our futures are untold, only revealed to us at the right moments. So, we continue to pursue, blindly hoping that our God or whatever deity you believe controls life will lead us down the right path.
All I know is that in terms of art teachers, there have been 3 in my life who have made the greatest impressions on me: Linda Fannon, James Thorpe, and Ruth Lozner. The former of which just passed. The secondary had a close call, but the last time I checked he was alive and well. When I return to Maryland, I will check on the 2 of the three who are still around. It was not only their finesse that aided me, but their guidance and especially belief in my abilities.
I'm actually trying to stop drinking alcohol for a little while, seeing as how I had a bad wake up call the other day. But when I get a chance, I should pour out a little liquor for my beloved art teacher. That and a prayer are the least I can do since I am so far away, and cannot attend her funeral service or viewing.
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(a letter from Mrs. Fannon that I received in my senior year of high school)
September 28, 2000
Dear Andy,
A few years ago for MY FACULTY RETREAT, you wrote me a letter. I was touched that you chose me!! (Or maybe you were just given my name.) Whatever the case may be, I was struck by your kindness as well as your humor. I have watched you grow since then and can't believe that you are now a SENIOR!
Your quiet nature and overwhelming talent are such a wonderful combination. I am always amazed at how you approach your artwork and its final product. There is no fanfare. There are no complaints. Only your diligence is present and in the end, your creation is amazing.
Your future is just around the corner and many decisions must be made. Whatever you plan, I know that it will be the best for you. I only hope that it will include your strengths that lie in the visual arts. Art should always remain a companion to you. It will never betray you and it will always be a beacon to those around you. I hope the year continues well for you...
Love,
Mrs. Fannon
Rest in peace, Great Teacher Fannon.
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| Apparently My Biggest Pet Peeve
Curious are you?
Simply put: Disrespect.
When I was in America, I couldn't stand KIDS who would show disrespect to their parents. Seriously, it made me want to beat the HELL out of them. Who the hell do you think you are? To talk back to your parents? I don't care if you KNOW you are right... they're your parents, and the amount of BS that they've undergone FOR YOU... is immeasurable and to hear the way you spoke to them... you make me want to spit on your grave and piss on your ashes.
Does that sound graphic enough?
Tonight, in Seoul... for the first time in over a year of my being here, I met a 동생 who almost pushed me to that limit.
He was '89 and from NY. When he first introduced himself to me at the bar that me and my friends were at, I was of course incredibly welcoming and nice to him. Later, I found out how old he was and that made me want to look out for him even more, not just cause he was a dongseng but also cause he was from the states. But my friend, who might have been a bit drunk, seemed to have a little problem with him, didn't seem to be too fond of him.
At first, I told my friend to be chill, and that as 'hyungs' we should love and look out for our dongsengs (youngers), and he understood as far as I could tell. But every time he tried to be friendly with the youngin, he would get angry... perhaps cause he had too much to drink...? I'm not sure. But regardless, I tried to keep him at bay.
Then, we finally went outside into the sidewalk, and I realized both of these ignorant stubborn bastards were not learning anything, and THAT pissed me the HELL off. It's not that it was just this newfound dongseng from NY who was being disrespectful to his hyung, but also my friend, from LA, who was not being respectful to his dongseng. You see, people don't realize that respect is a two-way street. Most think that it's just one (the older or more powerful) expecting subserviency from the younger or weaker... to me, that is BULLSHIT. Really... and as I told my friends to keep on walking so that I could send this dongseng off properly with no hard feelings, cause that (if you know me) is the kind of good hyung that I am, he kept saying to me, "You know what just go home, man. Just go home." No 형 added to his statement, not even in formal Korean, "집으로가세요." And I let that go... I swallowed the pride that made me start to think in my mind, "Who the **** does this kid think he is? Telling me to just 'go home, man'?? Cause he is NOT my friend, this '89 motha ******* WTF?? Seriously... I don't care if yew lived 15 years in NY, grow up, be mature, and show respect cause this kid was obviously not... to me OR to my friend, and before I could let my emotions get the best of me, I sent him off... never to see this little ***** again, cause that was the rudest BS that I had ever experienced in this country. Saying garbage like, "Yo your boy, I'll take him on." And me telling him, "Youngin, grow up... don't say that to me, cause see I had a good image of you up until the moment yew just said that, and after that... now, you just disappointed me greatly."
If another stupid little Korean does that me again... I'll give him one chance to move along. And God forbid he doesn't take that chance, cause then, I will leave him on the sidewalk unable for even his mother to recognize his face.
When I get angry and scary... I even scare myself... And my friends tonight... my dongsengs that I was with... I know I scared them.
This is the bersercker that I keep within myself, God forbid I ever unleash him on someone who crosses the line, because of me or because of someone I love.
God rest your soul.
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During a practice jam session for Philly church's summer camp, held at Philly church in one of the Sunday School classrooms. Summer '08 (Hongdood & Bmore)
Over a year now. Good times, good times. | | |
| Always Believing in the Truth.
I would say that before coming to Korea, I was lying to myself about my life. There were a lot of things that I was telling myself about my life, who I was, what I was doing, justifying things, making things up and whatnot. I realized that it wasn't until literally the months before my arrival in Korea that I found myself able to be true to myself.
Since arriving here, with my faith, I thought it was pretty mandatory that I find a church that I could attend weekly to keep my spirit an d faith strong. Since then, I have failed miserably at both finding and keeping that promise to myself. It's not easy, and as many excuses as I might make for myself, it doesn't get any easier from the words that come out of my lips. But that's besides the point.
You see, there was one thing that I told myself, that I believe with all of my being when I made my choice to come to Korea, and it was this, "I trust God, alone, with my life." Basically, I knew that I didn't know what would happen, and I made choices and whatnot but I knew that whatever happened it was all God's plans, and I didn't take credit for any of it, I just went where I believed my heart was told to follow.
Since I have come to Korea, as I mentioned before, my church attendance has not been the most impeccable. One would think that my performance in this foreign land would have shaken my faith.
But today, I am sitting here writing this long awaited entry, at the exact time that it was meant to be written, to tell you all (for those of you who view this still) that my faith has not been shook. I still trust in God as I did a year ago. And with whatever He has planned to occur in the months to come, I trust in Him fully. I will never regret, never dwindle, and never grow doubtful because things might change in ways that I didn't expect. Who knows... only the Good Lord, himself. And as for me, the patient sheep who walks beside him, I know that He still has me in the palm of His hand.
And for once in my life... I realize that I am finally being true to myself, and true to my beliefs, because my eyes are still fixed upon the Truth. And so long as my feet don't fail me now, I know I will walk in the right light. Always trusting, never doubting, never claiming things as my own.
Maybe it's time you did some reflecting of your own.
--Andymore
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